Berserker Alliance!!!

I'm going for the season sweep on you this week. That is not an easy feat. Will you drop five straight? I have too much respect for you to think you will but I will not pull any punches here my arch-nemisis!! Down with the Alliance, Hail the Militia!!!!

Most Shocking News Items this Week (for me)

What is happening in this world. I have got to reassess everything.

#1 T. Mandarich used roids??? WTF??? No f'ing way.

NFL bust Mandarich says he used 'roids in college

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3618195











#2. Clay Aiken is gay??? WTF??? No f'ing way.

Clay Aiken confirms he is gay to People

http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/chi-080923-clay-aiken-comes-out-gay,0,7028747.story?track=rss











#3 The House of Representatives rejects bailout bill??? WTF??? No f'ing way.

House rejects $700B bailout in stunning defeat

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080930/ap_on_bi_ge/financial_meltdown_1611

Man

this blog sucks shit!!! I want dubelyoo back!!!

Week 2 - Commish's Corner

Down, Down, Down the Drain We Go

It's sad when it bothers me more when my fantasy football team loses then it does when my real-life football team loses.

Travaris wasn't the answer, but most definitely Gus will not be either.  As proof Jim's Jug Band Jamboree hasn't even picked up Gus.  That's enough proof for me that this season is done.

Remember back to the year Travaris was drafted, there was one QB many people were predicting was going to be the best QB?  Leinart?  Vince Young?  Nope, it was Jay Cutler.  What about instead of trading up in the 2nd round to get Travaris, instead traing up like Denver did and grabbing a top projected, NFL caliber QB.  Imagine where we'd be at with Jay Cutler as our QB.  Imagine our team with an offense.

Puke and boring and a double-whammy we're wasting the defense we've rolled out onto the field led by our Monster-Beast Rage Machine, Jared Allen.  

Fan Of the Weak:

Bengal Fans

Weapon Of the Week:

High Five!

EDDIE VS meyer

I believe that this is the first time I have been victorious against the Alliance. Gotta say that it feels pretty good.

Week 1 Commish's Corner

Injuries, Injuries, Injuries

Definitely the theme of the first week is the amount of serious injuries.  By far the Vatican Rabbi have taken the brunt of the injuries with losing Brady (Round 1), Colston (keeper), and Burleson (Round 9).  You gotta hand it to the VR, they won week 1.  Now that they have spotted the league 3 hurt players, we'll see how they respond to adversity.

As much as I love fantasy football, the single biggest complaint I have is the impact of injury.  Before you say, fantasy football is suppose to mimick NFL and the injuries definitely hurt the NFL teams, I truly believe injuries have too big an impact in the NFL.  I have no answers to fix this issue, just complaints.

That said, now the Vatican Rabbis are seriously in a hole right of the bat in week 1.

Surprises:

Willie Parker - Glad to see Vatican Rabbis having some good news to balance out the Brady news.

Michael Turner - M.M., you just need to start Turner now.

Hines Ward - Drafted in the 7th round, but performing like a top WR.

Marvin Harrison - You know what happens when Marvin is upset?  He runs fast!

Felix Jones - Didn't think the Bears line would holdup, but week 1 just might be a sign of things to come.

Eddie Royal - Wow, undrafted but top WR.

Dissappointments:

Addai/Manning - WTF was that all about?

Braylon Edward - Didn't have a good game at all.

Vikes

Vince Young

Fan of the Weak:

http://etniesbmx.com/site-images/news/article/packers-fan.jpg

Coolest Weapon of the Week:

http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/18403.jpg

Random Thought  of the Week:

By far the most interesting science news this week is the LHC (Large Hadron Collider) - built for the specific purpose to find the God particle.  Sweet.  If we find it, then it will prove we understand why matter has mass.  Google or digg it for recent news.

Weatherman makes 69 Joke. Looks like he's from Minny

A weatherman makes a killer 69 joke. Killer refers to what he just did to his job, by the way.

Best/Worst Draft Picks Per Team

Vatican Rabbi's - Rick Hall:
Best: Tom Brady (1st round). Letting TB pass would be a repeat of the 2007 passing on AP.
Worst: Julius Jones (4th round). Passing on Rashard Mendenhall will come back and haunt the VRab, a mini-version of 2007 AP.

Koro Syndrome - Eddie Transrude:
Best: David Garrard (9th round). Absolutely cold-blooded - and patience - to wait for his starting QB until the 9th round. Takes nuts.
Worst: Vikes D (4th round). Could have waited oh, 2 more rounds for them.

Minnezona Militia - AJ Ney:
Best: Larry Fitzgerald (1st round). Having the guts to correctly pick Fitz over McFadden will help the MM in their 08 championship push.
Worst: Jerious Norwood (5th round). Taking Norwood over Mendenhall was an oops.

Team Haire - Pat Haire:
Best: Hines Ward (7th round). Very good value pick - could be a top 20 WR.
Worst: Ricky Williams (2nd round) followed by Ronnie Brown (3rd round).

The Stallionaires - Joel Hohenstein:
Best: Wes Welker (11th round). Potential top-20 reciever in the 11th round! Nice snipe.
Worst: Deuce McAllister (8th round). Might not even play this year.

The Berserker Alliance - Mike Meyer:
Best: Moss (1st round). Trading up to grab the #1 WR was a perfect example of a shark move.
Worst: Fred Taylor (6th round). Taylor is a thug, you should draft McKinnie too.

Mastodon Wolf Rage - Corey Ney:
Best: Owen Daniels (8th round). Top 4 TE in the 8th round!
Worst: Greg Jennings (4th round). Could have waited 2 rounds to pick up this packer stiff.

The Thundering Turd - Tony Saba:
Best: Brandon Marshall (2nd round). Absolutely top-10 WR found in the 2nd round. Great pick.
Worst: Bernard Berrian (7th round). Was excited by the Brandon Marshall pick and panicked. Could have waited 2+ rounds for BB.

Jim's Jug Band - Jim Hall:
Best: T.J. Houshmandzadeh (2nd round). Championship!
Worst: Donte' Stallworth (6th round). Maybe he will produce, but definitely could have waited 2-3 rounds for Donte'.

Raulty Maelstrom - Warren Gavin:
Best: Jay Cutler (4th round). Going back-to-back QB with your 3rd and 4th round pick was gutsy, but will pay off. Cutler is a stud.
Worst: Willis McGahee (2nd round). He has bust written all over him.

When's the draft?

Mastodon Wolfrage: Ney Targets Graham

The News: The buzz out of Mastodon Wolfrage headquarters is that Corey Ney intends to snag Earnest Graham with the seventh overall selection in the upcoming draft, if he is available.

Our View: Ney has expressed his infatuation with Graham on a number of occasions and was visibly distressed when he discovered that Graham would be a cap casualty in the off-season. Graham is more mastodon than wolf, but he has proven that he can carry the load and would fill a huge hole in the Wolfrage backfield. While Ney is clearly the master of the smokescreen, the allure of reuniting Addai and Graham may be too good to pass up.

Vatican Rabbi's busy entertaining potential #1 Draft Picks

Word on the street is that the Rabbi's have been busy wining and dining several potential players. Unfortunately it was hard to distinguish rather the player seen was Tom Brady or Darren McFadden.

Warren's REAL 8th Grade Swimming Photo Found!

YES!!!! CANNONBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prediction, by Eddie

Me^ --------------------------------------------------- The Agoge^


Just thought I'd let you all know what the upcoming fantasy season will be like for all of you!

Warren Gavin's 8th Grade Swimming Photo Found!!!

Delete

NEW FLASH

NEWS FLASH: Stallionaires introduce themselves at the 2008 Summer Olympic Games. Is that Joel and Meyer?

The Stallionaires

I wanted to let everybody know that the "Positive Connections" culture and name no longer exists. It was purely subterfuge on my part to earn your trust to pull off some key trades before the draft. With that mission accomplished, I have to keep it real.

From this point forward, the name of the franchise is "The Stallionaires". What is a Stallionaire, you may ask? A Stallionaire is a fusion of Stallion and Millionaire. Oh, and before any of you ask to join, don't bother. None of you chumps has what it takes. If you want to pose, however, Stallionaire t-shirts are available on the website - www.stallionaires.com - $29.99 in black or white.

So long, suckas.

You guys suck

sorry for not posting! I just figured I would let you all know how bad you suck.

Did we settle on a draft date?

I deleted the email that talked about this.

Also, could we have a list of all the cut players so far? If its not too much trouble.

Cutdown List

I've heard that the Pipe Laying Association of Young America (P.L.A.Y.A.S.) is having trouble making some tough decisions with the first round of cutdowns. As we are only two weeks away from the next cutdown, Positive Connections wants to donate some much needed strategic support to help Pat trim some dead weight. The following players not only should not be on a fantasy football roster, some of these guys may not make it through the next few months of training camp:

1. Chad Pennington
2. Jerious Norwood
3. Warrick Dunn
4. Chris Henry
5. Eric Johnson
6. Todd Heap
7. Shayne Graham
8. Seahawks D

Come on, Pat. This is serious stuff!! Prove yourself worthy of the Agoge.

Just seeing how this shiatzu works...

Warning - Rage is Growing

The Rage has started a hit list:

1. Raulty Maelstrom - your lack of attention is disturbing for a Super Bowl champ.
2. Positive Connections - our rivalry must continue.
3. P.L.A.Y.A.S. (Pipe laying association of young America) - Still on probation in my mind.

2008 HOF Ballat Now Open For Candidates

Submission Requirements:

1. The player must have been on a team roster sometime during the life of the league. Our league started in 2000.
2. Please provide reasons why that player should be in the HOF. For example, what did they contribute to the fantasy teams they were part of? Did they set records? etc.

Timeline:

1. Submissions will be open until Saturday August 2nd.
2. The HOF committee will look at the candidates and will select 5 players as candidates for the 2008 HOF class.
3. The league will vote on each of the 5 candidates for the 2008 class.
4. Any candidate the receives 8 votes or more will be voted into the 2008 HOF.
5. The 2008 Class will be announced Saturday Sept. 16th.
   

Thank you for your submission,
- The Agoge League Commissioner

I'm Here

Ok. I'm Here. So now what? From a quick review of other postings, I just write something funny and post a silly picture? Consider it done!

Draft???

Gentlemen,

Is everyone cool with having the draft Saturday night (7 pm), on August 16th?

I plan on being in Minnesota that weekend and would like to do it in person with as many people as possible who can attend.

Eddie's Team Name

As tradition in the Agoge League, the team finishing dead last in the 10th ranking earns the honor of having their team name stripped and a new one chosen by the Agoge community.

It is time to select a new team name. Please make suggestions.

My suggestion is Meatus


When we have enough ideas, I'll make a poll and put it to a vote.

Positive Connections

I am writing to let everybody know about the new vibe that I'm bringing to the Agoge. I've abandoned the angry attitude. Gone are the threats of vicious and inhumane attacks. Sarcastic remarks are a thing of the past. I've turned over a new leaf - a positive attitude that this league has never seen. My goal is clear and simple: Positive Connections.

So, where do I begin? I can't think of a better place than the trading arena. Do you want a positive trading experience? I'm your guy. I'd love nothing more than to establish an open and honest dialogue and to work together with you to create some win-win deals.

Maybe trading is not your thing or you are satisfied with your keepers. That's cool. Give me a call or shoot me an e-mail to just talk and share your life with me. I'm a great listener. Maybe you're dealing with a heavy issue - maybe I can help. I'm all about paying it forward. Help me to help you.

The bottom line is I'm really excited about the upcoming season and look forward to the fellowship. I wish you all peace and happiness!!!

Hohenstein Team Name Rumors!

After spending a couple days with Joel Hohenstein and his family this weekend, I have been able to ascertain several possible team names he is currently considering.

• MonkeyForce
• Chair
• Brave New Mangs II
• Massive Occular Trama (death by eye trauma)
• Guns Over Inver Grove Heights (GOIGH)
• Tiger Armada

Comments?

A possible logo is attached.

New Mang Press Conference

I would like to introduce the newest member of the mangs. #81.

Preseason Odds to Win it All Next Year

5-1 Mangs

6-1 Hades

6-1 Steam

6-1 Wac

7-1 Sabamonster

7-1 Slayers

8-1 Get Rich

8-1 Empire

9-1 Rick

300-1 Diggler

Barker

I think we need Travis Barker to do drum solos between each pick in this years draft. He's totally sweet and will be an honorary team member of the 2007 Champions formally known as the Hadesville Inferno.

NOTICE: Agoge Training

The team previously known and the Hadesville Inferno will not partake in any sort of male bonding that in in anyway shape or form close to the picture on your right, Gymnopaedias . These are the sorts of activities that Meyer has been looking forward to associated with agoge training.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agoge

2008 NFL Draft Party

Here are the details of the party:
When: Saturday, April 26th. 2-7pm (Each pick has a 10-min time limit, therefore be there by 3:30 pm for sure to see the Vikes pick)

Where: Corey's House
12238 Kenyon Ct. NE
Blaine, MN 55449

Phone: 763 442-4562

What to Bring: Nothing! I'll have beer, pop, and food.

Draft Party

I'm bummed I can't make it to the NFL draft party at the Mang's house next week. I really wanted to show off the new "agoge" outfit I picked up.

Ney - what do you think?